Wondering

Lately I've been wondering if I really am happy. I mean, I feel like I could be, but then I feel like I shouldn't be. Why do I deserve to be happy? I've been told I do, but why? Why should someone who isn't good at anything, be happy? What reasons do I have? Other people deserve it more. I'd much rather be miserable. I think I'm happy that way. I'm happy being sad.