Think

Recently I've been thinking about everything. -My life goal -School -My past -And the present. Currently I'm not attending school, why? I'm terrified to go. Because of what my teacher did to me last semester, I'm scared that all my teachers will. I'm scared to fail, and to disappoint everyone including myself. I'm scared of my friends that always judge me, and never respect me. My body has been feeling up and down lately. One day I will feel utterly great, the next... I feel horrible. Some days, even getting out of bed scares me to the point of shaking. I can't even think about going to school without crying my eyes out. My anxiety is building up higher and higher. Hopefully I can take the meds they prescribed me and I will feel happy like they said I would. It will make me happy right? Do I deserve to be happy? The goal that I've always wanted to do in life has always been, and forever will be a Veterinarian. But I'm wondering if I should start thinking of back up plans. And back up plans, for my back up plans. Since my Head Injury, I know my brain doesn't work as it used to. Everything I learn and understand, disappears in a matter of weeks. I'm so tired of feeling stupid. And my past! That's been driving me crazy. The history of abuse, and the fear that I'm left with today. Wondering if I will ever feel like a normal human again. But then again... I'm not normal.